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The Ambivalence of Suicide
By Roxana
Colman-Herak
Each of us has an
inner teacher, a voice of truth that offers guidance and wisdom needed to
deal with our problems, but, that inner voice is
often garbled by inward and outward interference. Parker Palme, A Hidden Wholeness.
SAMHSA (Substance Abuse
& Mental Health Services Administration) recently awarded the
Confederated Salish & Kootenai Tribes Circle of Trust Youth Suicide
and Early Prevention Project a 3-year grant award totaling $500,000. In this first year we will be focusing
on suicide prevention education in our tribal and non-tribal community. We are all affected by the stinging
effect of suicide. .
Planning, collaboration and
networking with law enforcement, mental health, community volunteers, schools, spiritual leaders, clergy are all
critically important in life promoting activities and prevention. Prior to 2000, there was no statewide
or strategic efforts to link resources to build a stronger network to
address suicide. In the fall of
2007, the Confederated Salish and Kootenai Tribes began working on a
Suicide Prevention Action Plan that incorporates three educational
strategies: prevention,
intervention and postvention activities.
The last thing that most people
expect is that they will run out of reasons to live. But if you are
experiencing suicidal thoughts, you need to know that you’re not alone.
By some estimates, as many as one in six people will become seriously
suicidal at some point in their lives. Fortunately, most people do not
act on their suicidal thoughts – crises pass and problems are solved.
The timeless
question, why would someone see suicide as an option to end life has
haunted our community for too long and answers don’t come easily, if
ever. Suicide is appropriately
called and felt to be a Taboo Topic.
What has emerged and continues to be awakened in our community is
a “sincere desire to learn more about what can be done to help someone at
risk of suicide.” The
individuality of suicide makes it impossible to speak specifically to
what someone may have been thinking or feeling in the moment the choice
was made to end life. Contrary to
belief, suicides don’t always happen spontaneously—most people who commit
suicide have reached out for help in one way or another. Talking to someone about suicide does
not make someone start thinking about suicide—the thought was already
there.
Many reading
this article may have, at some point heard someone make statements: “no one cares, I wouldn’t be missed, I
can’t take the pain anymore, no one understands or no one is
listening.” If someone told you
they were thinking about suicide, what would you do? What would you
say? For most, it is an uncomfortable
topic.
231 individuals
have completed ASIST trainings since August of 2007. The more helpers who are willing to
help the better chance we have to make a difference. We can be better listeners, better
caregivers, better parents, better friends and better prepared for that
person who says to you that they are thinking about suicide.
Eighty percent
of our population has had thoughts of suicide at some point in life. It’s no secret that we all have
problems and may find ourselves caught in confusion, despair and feelings
of hopelessness but we have managed to find our way through life’s
mazes. Problems that continue to
be compounded over time, however become a serious concern for the person
at risk. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary situation. The more we share experiences and
support each other, the greater the understanding and appreciation we
gain for that person who is desperately trying to sort through their
thoughts. Many people have shared
that what was most helpful getting through the tough times is having
someone who cares enough to listen without the added burden of
judgment.
Life itself
takes us to places that test and tax our emotional well-being and sadly
alcohol, drugs and fast fixes have come to be a norm to dealing with life
situations. When we find ourselves
in unfamiliar territory it is not uncommon to feel like running away,
moving away, isolating, or self medicating with alcohol and drugs. Life will prevail over death if given
half a chance. Perhaps there are
options and choices that can be considered to give life a chance. Suicide crosses all boundaries, every
age group, every culture, and every race and every age. It is not going to just going to go
away because we want it. We need
to want change so bad that we are willing to learn how to be better
helpers…better listeners. The need
for more helpers has arrived.
According to
figures released by the U.S. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Service
Administration, in 2004 and 2005 on drug use and health in Montana had the
seventh highest rate of depression (20 percent higher than the national
average). Suicide was the second leading cause of death for youth 10-24
years of age, surpassed only by accidental injuries such as automobile
accidents, drowning and fire. Approximately 70 percent of teen suicides
in the US
have alcohol or drugs in their systems upon death. For every completed
suicide by youth, it is estimated that there are 100-200 attempts.
When people
perceive their situation as inescapable (even though it is a temporary
life situation) they may feel life is out of control:
•
Can't stop the pain
• Can't think clearly
• Can't make decisions
• Can't see a way out
• Can't sleep, eat, or work
• Can't stop feeling depressed
• Can't make the sadness go away
• Can't see the possibility of change
• Can't see themselves as worthwhile
• Can't get someone's attention
The obvious suicide warning signs are:
• Threatening to hurt or kill themselves
• Looking for a way to kill themselves
• Talking or writing about death
• Excessive alcohol/drug use
• Anxiety, irritation, agitation
• Inability to sleep or sleeping all the time
• Expressing feelings of being trapped (there's no way
out)
• Feeling hopeless
• Withdrawing from friends, family and society
• In rage or seeking revenge
• Reckless behavior
Most suicidal people desperately want to
live, but can’t see a way out of what of what is often a temporary situation. Most suicidal people give definite
warning signals of their intentions, but those in close contact with them
miss, avoid, dismiss or are unaware of the significance of these signals.
THE
MONTANA
WARM LINE 1-877-688-3377 is up and
running. On September 1, 2008 the
Montana WARM LINE opened. The WARM
LINE is a non-crisis line staffed by primary consumers for people with
who want to talk to a peer about issues or problems they are facing. The WARM LINE is a safe, confidential
place to talk about what is really going on. Listening and being heard can be a
rich, rewarding experience. WARM
LINE provides a friendly and understanding person when you just need
someone to talk to. The Montana
Mental Health Association has also created a “Virtual Drop-In
Center,” that
utilizes the telephone and internet to provide home-based services for
people with mental illness. Check
it out www.montanawarmline.org for schedules
and information on upcoming groups and programs. Blog users have access to resources and
support online. The WARM LINE is
not a crisis line, however operators can refer people who are considering
suicide to appropriate services.
Through a 3-way calling, WARM Line staff can access emergency
services if needed. If you are a mental
health consumer interested in working on the WARM LINE contact MMHA at
877-927-6642 for details.
WHAT
IS ASIST (Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training)? ASIST is a 2-day workshop designed to
teach caregivers to competently and confidently intervene with an
individual at risk of suicide.
ASIST prepares individuals from all walks of life to integrate
principles of intervention into everyday practice. ASIST is divided in four learning
modules: attitudes, knowledge, intervention and resources that are
illustrated with case studies, videos, live dramatizations, simulations
and practice exercises. Each
workshop is limited to 30 participants,
WHAT IS SAFETALK
(Suicide Alertness)
SafeTALK is
a new LivingWorks suicide alertness program that teaches community
members to recognize persons with thoughts of suicide and to connect them
to suicide intervention resources.
SafeTALK
prepares community members of all kinds to be suicide alert
helpers. SafeTALK participants are aware that
opportunities to help a person with thoughts of suicide are sometimes
missed, dismissed and avoided. They want persons with thoughts to invite
their help. They know the TALK steps
(Tell, Ask, Listen and KeepSafe) and can activate a
suicide alert. The keep safe step connect persons
with thoughts of suicide to trained community resources in suicide
intervention for help. SafeTALK is
designed to be used in organizations and communities where there are ASIST-trained caregivers. SafeTALK developed because not everyone can commit to a 2-day ASIST
workshop. SafeTALK
complements the work of ASIST and
other intervention training programs.
Seating limited to 45.
For
more information about upcoming Applied Suicide Intervention Skills
Training “ASIST” or safeTALK contact Roxana Colman-Herak at Circle of
Trust Suicide Prevention Program (406) 270-8631, (406) 675-2700 ext 1237
or Marty Herak at (406) 644-0797.
Many of
us face a dilemma when trying to deal with personal problems, questions,
or decisions. We know that the problem is ours alone to resolve and that
we have the inner resources to resolve it, but accessing our own
resources is often blocked by layers of inner
"stuff"—confusion, habitual thinking, fear, despair. We know that friends might help us uncover
our inner resources and find our way, but by exposing our problem to
others, we run the risk of being invaded and overwhelmed by their
assumptions, judgments, and advice.
A Circle
of Trust doesn’t attempt to fix, advise, save or set anyone straight—it
provides a quiet, safe, confidential space that invites a wounded soul to
be heard.
Some Important
Facts from the American Association of Suicidology
Suicidal thinking is usually associated with
problems that can be treated. Clinical depression, anxiety disorders,
chemical dependency, and other disorders produce profound emotional
distress. They also interfere with effective problem-solving. But you
need to know that new treatments are available, and studies show that the
vast majority of people who receive appropriate treatment improve or
recover completely. Even if you have received treatment before, you
should know that different treatments work better for different people in
different situations. Several tries are sometimes necessary before the right
combination is found.
Problems are seldom as great as they appear
at first glance.
Job loss, financial problems, loss of important people in our lives – all
such stressful events can seem catastrophic at the time they are
happening. Then, month or years later, they usually look smaller and more
manageable. Sometimes, imagining ourselves “five years down the road” can
help us to see that a problem that currently seems catastrophic will pass
and that we will survive. Reasons
for living can help sustain a person in pain. A famous
psychologist once conducted a study of Nazi concentration camp survivors,
and found that those who survived almost always reported strong beliefs
about what was important in life. You, too, might be able to strengthen
your connection with life if you consider what has sustained you through
hard times in the past. Family ties, religion, love of art or nature, and
dreams for the future are just a few of the many aspects of life that
provide meaning and gratification, but which we can lose sight of due to
emotional distress.
Do not keep suicidal thoughts to yourself! Help is available for you, whether
through a friend, therapist, coach, teacher, clergy or a community resource
person. Find someone you trust and let them know how you are feeling.
Talking can be very helpful and healing.
HELP NUMBERS
Emergency Resources:
1-800-273-8255 National Suicide Lifeline
(406)
676-4441 St.
Luke’s Hospital
(406)
752-5111 Kalispell
Regional
(406)
543-7271 St.
Patrick’s Hospital
(800)
784-2433 National Suicide
Prevention Hotline
(406)
675-4700 CSKT Law &
Order
(406)
546-3303 Salish Tribal
Elder, Patrick Pierre
(406)
531-9170 Western Montana
Mental Health (after hours, call 911)
(406)
883-8256 Helping Hands (W,
Th, Fri)
(406)
883-7279 Salvation Army
(406)
676-0800 Safe Harbor
(domestic violence)
(406)
883-7301 Red Cross
(406)
745-3525 Tribal Health
M-Th (mental health after hours call 675-4700)
(800)
831-9987 DOVES (Domestic
Violence)
(406)
542-1944 PATHWAYS Treatment
Center
(877)
231-5173 CSKT Crime Victim
Program
(406)
883-6664 Alcoholics
Anonymous
(406)
444-8273 Veterans TriWest
Tricare
(877)
468-8387 Veterans Healthcare
Center
(800)
273-TALK Veterans Crisis
Hotline
(800)
626-8686 Missoula Vet
Center (combat
vets)
(800)
342-9647 Military
ONESOURCE
VETtalk will be available in January 2009
(800)
448-3000 Teen & Parent
Crisis Hotline
The Samaritans
(http://www.samaritans.org.uk/)
Befrienders
International (http://www.befrienders.org)
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